Some People Can't Turn Left, I Can't Spell Received

3 hour writing class is about to start. Joy joy joy.
And how could I forget gum?

Liz and I did not spend six minutes crying at a YouTube video today. I don't really know who told you that.
Sean has been gone for two days and there's no one to fix our broken things. No one here can use carpentry tools. A hammer's more complicated than you'd think.

And how did I get on float committee for this stupid parade?

Yeah, Yea, Yuh.

You want the remix? Get your hands up.

This is how I know Philosophy is a joke: 

"The most beautiful color in the world is purple." - Socrates

You'd think I'd be able to find the airport after three tries in the past month. And it's right down the street... whatever, i figured it out.

I got in trouble this weekend for comparing the drunk bus to a concentration camp. Then somehow ended up at a fog party. The last time I had a fog party, Haystack lit up and the fire-department came.

whooops. I should probably just stick to Knob One Bourbon.

Liz Wescott has added 'lilacs' to her interests.

Most people would be phased by a French-man in the living room. Not I.

Making my toast this morning, Ben is in the common room.

(It's better if you picture the interaction between us. Me in my moose pants, him in his grey striped hoodie.)

Ben: "Don't forget to hide it."

Alex: "Hide what?"

Ben: "They're coming to visit us today?"

Alex: "Who's coming?"

Ben: [points behind me]

Alex: "HIDE WHAT?"

(He was talking about the toaster. I didn't know that.)

That conversation was almost as good as my FAVORITE ever.

Alex: Call me.

Sean: Okay I called. Now what?

Alex: Now you wait.

Sean: This is really creepy.

And I'm literally laughing out loud.

Econ test, no XBOXes.

<3 RICK <3 RICK <3 RICK <3

Is it such a crime not to like pumpkin flavored things?

I spent a good twenty-five minutes this morning thinking that my econ professor was talking about an XBOX. Turns out he was discussing some hugely important economic phenomena, but I couldn't understand him because he refuses to let go of his Venezuelan accent. Hoorah for 20% on the next test. And for Kyle it will probably be 10%.

I don't care if you don't like my blog. It's not like I would write about anything actually important in my life and spread that all over the internet. Who do I look like to you? Miley Cyrus? 

Someone needs to tell Leslie to put her in her place.

To Essex or Bust

Sunday's epiphany: I want a futon.

Craigslist that S.

Case Study: Erica and Mr. Smith, a young, pregnant couple with a huge dog. What was it's name? No one remembers. But they were awfully determined to keep it inside.

Maybe nudist colonies don't allow dogs?

Alex: I'm no engineer.

Erica: He is.

Alex: Are you really?

Mr. Smith: Well, kind of.

Turns out it's not your typical futon. 

But whatever, I'm happy with a recliner-throne. (That is, until we figure out how to really assemble it.)

Meanwhile, last night Phoebe was all over my idea to turn LACP UPSTAIRS into a sex-themed museum of sorts. It's always good to get back-up.

The Blog is Born

Dear Jojo,

Thank you for supporting me through this horrid endeavor.
Down with Kohls.

<3 AAB